“Don’t Let Old People Vote!”

Inspired by a true story.

“Don’t let college students vote!” people yell. “They don’t really know how things work! They lack life experience! They’re full of newfangled ideals, and probably one or two controlled substances!”

“Don’t let old people vote!” I retort. “They don’t really understand how things work these days! No matter what you are talking about, they insist on comparing it to the Great Depression! They refer to Google as ‘the Google,’ which makes it sound like something that follows you around in 19th-century Warsaw bringing misfortune. They’re full of old-fashioned ideals, and probably Metamucil.”